Here’s tonight’s ramble.
We’re sitting in bed, winding down on our phones. I know that many will say that you shouldn’t wind down with your phone, but I’ve found that it helps distract me from some of the other things of the day. I also acknowledge the toxicity that comes with social media in the evening – you can bombard yourself with the bad all at once.
So to combat this, I downloaded FarmVille a few weeks ago, and let me tell you this is not the same FarmVille from 2007. Boy, do I wish for the simpler times of harvesting strawberries in four hours between classes. There were plenty of times I forgot about them and they would wilt, and die. While there are less consequences of wilting produce, this version of FarmVille definitely distracts me from the heavier things happening right now. And for that, I’m grateful.
I’ve also downloaded a crossword app and that has actually been fun and challenging. Like solo trivia. A little less mindless than my farm, but also a good distraction. And leads to good conversation with Andy about trivia we didn’t know we knew or would ever need.
We’re almost a third through August and I’m starting to feel a little lighter – mentally. And a little lighter – physically.
I’ve started to micro-manage my work a little bit more than I had been. This means shifting and moving meetings around so my schedule is more spaced out, and giving myself reasonable and realistic stopping points. Last week I completed over 250 tasks plus 8 meetings – that is too much, and no wonder my brain and body have felt so exhausted. By writing everything down, I’ve felt less guilty for sleeping in an extra hour or stopping an hour or two earlier than traditional work hours. As an executive director of a community center, I don’t do traditional work and I can’t hold traditional hours. This has helped me feel a lot less brain fog too.
Other than work, I’ve thought about writing more and I’ve been picking up my camera more. These are things I definitely want to do more of, but still feel like they’re on the back burner. I’m not sure why, but they may still feel like they take more brain power than I don’t also have.
The past few weeks, I’ve been incorporating more running and gym time consistently. Moving more helps in so many ways that lead to just an overall healthier day – I’m not the first to say that and I won’t be the last. For me I notice less stiffness and back pain. I also notice less anxiety and disassociation. So right now, I’m focusing on getting into a movement routine that helps me feel mentally and physically well. I’m aiming for two runs a week and 2ish days of other workouts whether it’s lifting or going to a group class. It’s been interesting to see what pace and distance I can tolerate versus what challenges me to failure. I’ve been working on distinguishing between my legs failing or being tired versus my lungs versus my head – and that has been the most interesting part of getting back into running. I know I can run. I don’t need to convince myself of that. But when you’re out of practice, it’s a matter of convincing your head and then pacing yourself so you don’t fail out and stop earlier than intended.
This week there are two classes I want to go to. I need to also sit down with my calendar and find time to get in two runs, and maybe a third gym day to lift. The third day would be a bonus because it’s a busy work week with evening events.
I might sit down tomorrow and look at the month and plug things in for the rest of August so I don’t schedule over them. It’s more making the time – carving it out than finding it. If you’re finding it, it’s easy to lose track of it.
I’ll let you know how that goes. Having a plan for the month may make this feel less overwhelming and more achievable. Especially since it would be a long-term view – well, at least 20+ days instead of a week-long snapshot.
