I actually love seeing everyone’s top 5. Music is a type of expression and the music we choose to listen to can tell a lot about us, or maybe it doesn’t and I just over think everything. But it definitely shows us sides of people we never get a chance to see.
One of my friends had the same number 1 artist as I did: Taylor Swift – I wasn’t surprised. Another friend had a top artist that I loved in high school: She Wants Revenge – she actually surprised herself with this.
So my top 5. I wasn’t completely surprised, but also, I didn’t realize I had crushed T. Swift so hard when her album Red re-released 😅.
So here’s my top 5:
- Taylor Swift
- Zach Bryan
- Tyler Childers
- Warren Zeiders
- Muscadine Bloodline
The reason this isn’t surprising – 4/5 are on my hiking playlist and I put that on repeat when I hike and when I lift and when I’m feeling low. And this year, I did and felt a combination of all of that. And when I felt I was pulling out of some it, I fell back in.
This was the year that I realized I was sensitive to sound and pitch. I’ve always know that tone of voice can negatively impact me, but I hadn’t noticed or experience the same with music before. High pitch squeals, loud noises in small spaces or echoing space, really loud instruments that overpowering vocals – all bother me.
In some cases, I start crying. Full water works. Other times, I’ll feel a twitch coming on as though I’m trying to rub the sound off of me.
This year, when I was alone, I found more calm and centering in lower tones and steady beats, which means I’ve leaned hard into alternative country and beo traditional country. It’s the deep voices for me. Yes, catchy, sad boi lyrics too, at least according to Spotify – but it sounds like a nice low humming as well.
A few months ago a friend of mine, who’s cis female (and this is important to the story), shared with me brown noise. She explained that she listens to it when she’s working on projects or needs something on. It’s a lower frequency. After doing some reading, I found that brown noise can help your brain relax. My friend has ADHD, and this why gender is important, ADHD can impact males and females differently and diagnosis in females is often in adulthood. For her, she’s learned more as an adult and it’s helped me also accept some of my habits and behaviors.
As far as I know, I don’t have ADHD because I haven’t been tested. There have been a lot of symptoms I’ve exhibited over the years that are associated with my current diagnoses as well as ADHD, and I’ve found a lot of really helpful coping mechanisms manage and live with them. I talked with my therapist about this and she posed the question “what change would you make if you had another diagnosis?”
None. It may bring a sense of relief. But none.
So it’s possible, but diagnosis isn’t necessary to care for myself and find ways that help me.
Her and I had this conversation while discussing brown noise. I felt less alone about my music choices and how I react to sounds now.
I’m curious, as you’ve looked at your top 5 or someone else’s top 5, we’re you able to make any connections about your mood or health or life this year?