A few years ago I started blogging and journaling what I was taking with me into the new year, and what I was leaving behind.
In past years, I’ve left fear. In some years, I brought it with me into a new year by accident. I’ve brought bravery, writing, laughter. I brought baking and lifting and running. There have been some years where I brought them and then packed them away forgetting to pull them back out.
This year, I found a lot of doubt. I’m going to try to leave more of it behind and lean into reframing my thoughts. Doubt didn’t necessarily hold me back, but I noticed it a lot more. I noticed that it was challenging to pause the thoughts and move on quickly. I noticed more spirals and a steamroll feeling that came with these.
I’m going to bring writing with me – not just journaling, but blogging and the revamped newsletter and poetry. I’ve gotten away from that more than I want to admit.
I’m going to continue to embrace challenge and let it push myself academically and professionally. I’m going to present more, starting with a presentation in January for a nonprofit I connected with a few months ago. This also means challenging negative thoughts in general – I can do so much more than I let myself believe.
I’m excited to start my 3rd, 4th and 5th semesters of graduate school and move in with my boyfriend. I’m trying to bring patience with myself, him and us as we learn each other and ourselves individually in a different way.
I’m going to bring naps and sleep, but also late nights with games and bonfires and laughter. I’m bringing consistency with activity and weightlifting. I’m excited to have to partner that wants to lift with me (even though we’re motivated by very different things) and enjoys cooking and experimenting as much as I do.
I’m going to leave comparison behind. This year was probably the best year I felt mentally in this regard. I’ve unfollowed accounts, stopped having conversations that don’t serve me and let myself have my goals and my life in my way – it’s still hard. That’s because I’m human.
I’m excited for the new year – a new leaf, a new book. We’ll see what happens.